I spent most of last week trying to figure out how far behind I actually am. After analyzing the situation (now doesn’t that sound intellectual?), I decided I’m so far behind that if I were any further behind and in a race, I could probably fool myself into believing that I’m actually ahead because I can’t see anyone or anything in front of me.
Now, after re-reading that passage, I’m beginning to wonder if that made any sense to anyone but me. Just in case it didn’t, suffice it to say if I were in the “Amazing Race,” I’d be on my way home as a big fat loser.
I can only hope this week starts out better than the last one ended. This time I’m going to pay more attention to all those little warning signs that don’t bode well for a hap-hap-happy week.
It’s Never A Good Sign When…
•You hear your sports editors on deadline quietly whispering in the corner. Although you hope they’re discussing batting averages, time stops when you hear them say, “Do you think we talked to the right person? Look at her picture. Is that the person we talked to? Is it?”
•A yearbook staffer turns in her two pages and says, “It’s done… well, except for that group picture that goes here… oh, and that quote that goes right there… and, uh, I still have to find out who that person is in that picture…and uh…”
•Your newspaper editor starts to begin all her sentences with either “We need to talk…” or “I think I’m going to kill somebody…”
•You check your phone messages and not one of them are from Oprah’s people wanting you to appear on her show, but all of them are from mad moms in various stages of distress who can’t believe the deadline to buy yearbooks has passed. And, YES, the deadline applies to them. And, NO, there aren’t any exceptions. And, YES, you understand how important it is. And, NO, you still can’t make an exception. And, YES, your name really is Richtsmeier not Witchmeyer or any variation thereof.
•Your business manager texts you asking, “Did you forget to give me that money or did I lose it?”